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25 December 2012 @ 09:00 am
Dear Santa  
Dear Santa
Rating: PG
Word Count:
Summary: Dean once wrote a letter to Santa Claus.





Dear Santa,
Please bring me a baby brother for Christmas. If you can't, than a bicycle.
Love, Dean

Mary chuckled and showed the letter to John when he got home from the garage.
“Didn't you tell him the baby's not due until May? Late April at the earliest?” He asked.
His wife shook her head fondly. “You try and tell him that. He's already over the moon about his little brother and he's not even born yet.”
John smiled. “Dean's going to be a great big brother when the time comes.”
“And to think I was worried,” Mary leaned into her husband's warmth. “Dee's going to be the best big brother to Sammy.”


Daddy had settled Sammy down in an old crib at the neighbor's house when he felt Dean tug at his pant leg. “I wanna stay with him.”
“You'll be right in the cot next to him,” John sighed, voice still distracted.
Dean pouted his mouth. “Stay with him.”
John didn't have the energy to deny his eldest anything that might bring him some comfort right now and maybe with his brother next to him, Sammy would stop squirming and go to sleep. “All right,” he picked Dean up and laid him down next to the six month old. “But be careful of Sammy; he's only a baby.”
Dean nodded and tucked the blanket more tightly around Sammy before wrapping his arms around his baby brother.
John collapsed outside the door, other wise he wouldn't have heard the wrinkle of paper.
“See this, Sammy? It's my Christmas letter to Santa from last year. I'll help you write yours this year. And Daddy didn't mean to forget,” here a smacking sound of wet lips told John that Dean had given Sammy the goodnight kiss his own father had forgotten.
Sammy made a happy baby sound and Dean giggled.
“I love you, Sammy. And I'mma take good care a' you, promise. I'll be the best big brother to you ever, ever.”
“I hope so,” John whispered to himself. “Without Mary, Sammy's going to need you more than me.”


“He is so real!” Sam declared with the certainty of a six year old.
Dean rolled his eyes. “Don't be a baby, Sammy. Santa's not real.”
From a pocket in his dirty pants, Sam withdrew a crinkled letter. “Nuh-uh. You wouldn't have written this if Santa wasn't real.”
“Where did you get that?' Dean flailed, trying to get it back from his brother. “Gimme that!”
“I found it in the backseat!” Sam crowed triumphantly.
Dean snatched it away and pushed Sam down. “I wish I'd gotten a bike instead, dweeb!”
Sam lay on the ground, blinking watery hazel eyes. He withdrew his hand from the back of his leg and it came away red.
“Oh, Sammy,” Dean's own green eyes widened when he realized he'd made his brother bleed. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean it.”
Scrambling to his feet, Sam took a few hasty steps away from his brother.
Dean moved forward and pulled Sam into his arms. “I'm really, really glad Santa sent me you instead of a bicycle. Here, let's go clean you up.”


Sam finished unpacking his duffel and looked around the dorm room. There wasn't much different than most of the motels they stayed in. Sam didn't have a lot of possessions to make it feel, well, homey. Not that the motels ever really felt homey either.
Home was... well, the Impala felt most like home. If home was experiencing the same thing over and over. The army man in the car door, the rattle of Dean's old legos, Dad's old cassette tapes, Dean's off-key singing.
Dean.
Sam felt another pang go through his heart at the thought of his brother's betrayed look. Dad had yelled, Dad had issued the ultimatum, but Dean had looked like he wanted to cry or at least beg Sam to stay.
Sam had tried to explain that, for all his brother could annoy the crap out of him like nobody else, it wasn't Dean Sam was trying to get away from. At least, not because he didn't want to be around him anymore. On the contrary, Sam found himself wanting to be around Dean all the time, far more than regular brothers should.
Sam sighed. “Better he hates me for this instead,” he said to the empty room. Reaching for his book (a copy of The Fellowship of the Ring that Dean had bought him when they moved too soon for Sam to finish his library book), Sam took out his bookmarks. A picture of he and Dean that Uncle Bobby had taken last year when they stayed at his place for a couple weeks and a much-folded piece of paper. “Dear Santa,” he read aloud. “Please bring me a baby brother for Christmas.” He chuckled softly. He looked down at the photograph and traced Dean's smiling face.
“God, I love you, Dean,” he whispered. He lay back on the bed and looked up at the ceiling. “Dear Santa... dear God, please bring me my big brother for Christmas.” He sighed. “Or sooner. Wearing nothing but a bow if the only one listening is the Devil.”


“Sammy?”
“Dean, stop calling me S-” Sam cut himself off as he came out of the bathroom to see Dean holding his tattered copy of The Fellowship of the Ring open. The photograph of the two of them tucked into the folds of Dean's old letter to Santa was out of the book and in Dean's hand.
“Why do you still have these?” Dean asked, coming closer.
Sam looked down, hoping his brother wouldn't see him blush. “I. I always keep these with me.”
“I would have thought-” Dean cut himself off and Sam could hear the unspoken words: 'it burned up last year. With all the rest of your life.'
“I brought it with me when you got me at Stanford,” Sam explained. “Two seconds in the front door I realized I left it under the passenger seat, but I thought if I didn't...” he took the plunge, with their father gone now maybe Dean wouldn't be hasty enough to cut Sam out of his life entirely. “If I didn't go back for it, I had an excuse to see you again.”
Dean reached out a shaky hand and grabbed Sam's shoulder. “You never needed an excuse, Sammy. I would have come anytime you called. I missed you. Dammit, Sam, I missed you so much.”
“I missed you too,” Sam confessed. “I felt like calling you every other second. Sometimes, I just wanted to tell you... tell you that I love you.”
“I love you too, Sammy. More than you'd ever know.” Dean blinked his eyes rapidly. “Dammit, fucking chick flick moments.”
Sam chuckled darkly. “I love you more.”
Dean shook his head. “That's not possible.”
In for a penny Sam said, “I'm counting on that.”
“What do you-” Dean's words were cut off by Sam's lips. He froze in shock and Sam was an instant away from pulling back and claiming mental illness when Dean grabbed Sam's shoulders. “God, Sammy,” he husked, leaning back in and taking Sam's mouth in a fierce kiss.
“How long?” Sam asked, between kisses, unwilling to be parted from Dean for longer than a breath.
Dean moved to Sam's jawline. “Forever, Sammy. I've wanted you forever.”

 
 
 
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
liveinadream87: Supernaturalliveinadream87 on December 25th, 2012 10:31 pm (UTC)
Beautiful, love it <3
sammichgirl: Dimple & Smile & Molesammichgirl on December 26th, 2012 02:54 am (UTC)
Awwwwwwwww *hugs this fic*
Blackrabbit42: crowbarblackrabbit42 on December 27th, 2012 03:48 am (UTC)
I was so surprised when I finished reading this, scrolled back up to see who wrote it and saw that I'd never read anything by you before... this felt so much like it was written by a familiar and favorite author. Really wonderful!

:)
Trigger Warning: Lifematchboximpala on December 30th, 2012 05:41 pm (UTC)
Just lovely. Thank you for sharing!
deezy_y: Sam and Dean hug intimatedeezy_y on January 10th, 2013 05:18 am (UTC)
Aww...adorable and so very sweet!
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )